I found Lady Irma's queen size panti-hose at my local bodega on Nostrand Ave...notice the "panel seat for better fit"...come on, has flattened ass ever been a beauty standard?! ::: and just in case cheese doesn't work, experts recommend:
"In your light I learn how to love.
In your beauty, how to make poems.
You dance inside my chest,
where no one sees you,
but sometimes I do,
and that sight becomes this art." (Rumi)